This is a warning for all those listening to funny audiobooks in their cars:
Put down the coffee.
Pick your listening material with care.
And bring an extra shirt.
Flying down the highway on my way to work, I was listening to Bill Bryson’s “A Walk in the Woods”, and consuming my morning caffeine fix. About 20 minutes into the book, I was finding Bryson’s description of preparing for a year-long trek of the Appalachian Trail captivating and hysterical. I was most particularly tickled by Bryson’s description of his fear of bears (black bears, brown bears, grizzly bears, teddy bears..).
Then danger struck… Bryson vividly and succinctly described what effect coming face-to-face with a bear would have on his digestive system. I believe the phrase “excrement would fly like streamers” was the epicenter of my disaster, as I laughed, inhaled a hot mouthful of Tim Horton’s finest brew, then instinctively shot said brew all over my steering wheel, dashboard, and crisp cotton shirt.
For several blurry, disjointed milliseconds as I drifted towards the ditch, I thought “Well, at least I’m going to die laughing.” Fortunately, I got control just in time to avoid being a witty headline in the local newspaper, but not before learning my lesson.